We sort of have a love/hate relationship with the Disney Villains. We love them because they do all kinds of deliciously evil things that involve epic song and dance numbers and sarcastic one-liners. Then of course, we have to dislike them when they put our heroes or heroines in peril. You can imagine then, that at the end of our favorite Disney stories, we have some mixed feelings about seeing the villain go. So that got us thinking—what would those stories be like if the Rapunzels and Aladdins of the world didn’t prevail? What would happen if the Disney villains actually won? Here’s what we think might have happened:
The most powerful sorcerer in the world AND the sultan of Agrabah? That’s a power combination we don’t want to get behind. We suggest the residents of Agrabah move ASAP.
We bet Ursula would start throwing all those fantastical feasts she used to have when she lived in the palace. But after a while, she would turn all the rest of the mermaid citizens into those creepy worms and life would get pretty boring.
If Scar won, we imagine the lionesses would be out of there, leaving Scar with no food, no water, and a bunch of angry hyenas. Now that we think about it, it probably wouldn’t have worked out for Scar either way.
We assume it it would be business as usual at Mother Gothel’s tower. Except Rapunzel would be really sad with no Flynn around to cheer her up (no, we are not crying right now, we just got something in our eye).
Since she would now be the Empress, we imagine Yzma would rule over everyone, wear fabulous clothes, and eat Kronk’s appetizers (except his spinach puffs).
We’re guessing if Gaston was successful, he would take over the Beast’s castle. Knowing his sense of style, we imagine he’d redecorate with antlers and all of his trophies. Egg diet would remain the same.
Things would probably remain the same at the Tremaine household. Cinderella would still be dreaming, the stepsisters would still be bratty, and Lady Tremaine would still be evil.
If the mistress of all evil won, Prince Philip would be locked in her dungeon and Aurora, along with the entire kingdom, would be asleep. Maybe she would stage the ultimate sleepover and laugh at all the sleeping gentry.
If he finally got over those fat cats who don’t give him as much as a sideways glance, we think Dr. Facilier would upgrade his creepy voodoo lair. Maybe he would get one of those beautiful houses in New Orleans and eat lots of beignets.
Hades would be sitting on high at Mount Olympus, probably toasting his win and getting a tan (the underworld doesn’t get much sunlight).
She would finally be the fairest one of all… until the next beautiful maiden came along.